Up In Smoke
by Sunscorched
Summary: There's a little accident at the Theta Beta house...


Title: Up In Smoke

Author: Sunscorched

Disclaimer: All ownership belongs to Rob Thomas.

XXX

Don Lamb massaged the bridge of his nose and breathed deeply. In, hold for five, and slowly exhaled. He was forty feet away from the sorority house and the air still held the taint of marijuana. Distinct, pungent, cloying.

It was the sort of smell that went straight to the back of the throat and one that made him gag several times over. Drugs weren't something he'd ever done, not even during his youth. To play baseball at scholarship level, he'd needed to be clean and so clean he stayed. His cleanliness had been helped by the simple fact that he despised the smell of Mary J. Really despised it.

His roommate at college had smoked it every damn day and come the weekend, Don Lamb lost out on booty calls. The girls came, the girls got a whiff of skunk, and the girls went. Needless to say, his first and only year at college took a bigger blow than his knee.

He couldn't avoid now. Not when a sorority house puffed the stuff out of every opening possible. Windows, chimney, doors. The whole building was surrounded by a misty fog of smoke and even though the fire had been out for over an hour, the smell lingered and made the air so very aromatic, and he didn't mean in a good way.

Lamb shook his head and looked around.

It was the 60's all over again, he thought as he watched two pretty brunettes making daisy chains. He glanced a few feet from them, where a few more girls sat stroking a large stuffed pink bear. Another group of girls came into his peripheral vision and he just stared as they held hands and swayed, all had blissful little smiles on their faces.

He knew he should be right at the scene of the crime. He was the sheriff. Out of anyone, it should be him rounding up the witnesses, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. Not only would it take him closer to the smoke, but it'd land him directly in the path of doped up teens. Throw in the fact that one of those teens happened to be Casablancas, older brother to the kid who threw himself off the roof of the Neptune Grand.

Lamb groaned when Casablancas threw his hands in the air and began to sprint towards the smoking house, a long and drawn out yeehaw was the only thing to be heard from the kid.

"Sachs." He hollered and pointed at the kid, then coughed when he got a mouthful of skunk smoke.

Oh, God.

The pain of his fist pounding on his chest paled in comparison to the harsh, wracking coughing that practically forced a lung up his oesophagus. Hot water stung his eyes and he squeezed them tight shut in an effort to keep the eyeballs securely in their sockets. Christ, that stuff was worse than Deputy D'mato's feet after a couple of hours at the gym.

"You okay, sheriff?" The deputy hollered back as he grabbed Casablancas, who dropped to his knees and clasp his hands in front of Sachs, clearly begging to be let go.

Lamb glanced towards Sachs from his doubled over position and nodded. "I'm fine, just secure the area and get everybody out before we're all over the rainbow. We'll come back when the air's less toxic."

The deputy nodded, then got Casablancas by the shirt and hauled the kid off the grass, all the while belting out directions to the other officers.

Lamb straightened himself out, ignoring the continued throb in his chest, and tried not to breathe too deeply. He did not want to see the world through a purple haze.

Given the fact most of the officers were a helluva lot closer to the house of smoke, he figured he was gonna have to call in the guys on their day off to come. The last thing their department needed was the sheriff leading a band of merry men reported in the press.

He opened the door to his cruiser and called in, his eyes on the look out for anyone sober who might be able to explain how the house came to have an entire room of dope plants and how it caught fire. Arson was doubtful. The girls would have known burning down their house for an insurance scam would get them caught and charged with possession with intent to sell. Girls like these had too much to lose and he so very thankful for that. Arson was a pain in the ass when it came to providing paper work.

There wasn't much point in theorising at the present moment in time, not without any decent statements or eyewitness accounts. As things stood, with several deputies getting high and a dozen witnesses away with the fairies, the only option was to head back to the station and wait for the students to arrive. Hopefully, one or two of them would have something useful. He doubted it, but never mind.

Lamb was about to get into his car when a girl appeared in his peripheral vision and sighed.

A petite blond at a crime scene of his?

Of course.

He flicked drivers side door closed and took a leisurely stroll over to the apple tree, where the petite blond sat, propped up against the thick trunk, her tongue licking a Twinkie wrapper like her very life depended on it.

He focused his blue eyes on Veronica Mars and made no effort to remove the smirk from his face, and wondered how attractive her male entourage would find her now. Flat on her ass with legs splayed and out straight, one hand holding the Twinkie wrapper and the other in her over-sized purse, probably searching for more snacks.

This was gold.

Don Lamb quickly snapped a picture or three on his phone before he got her attention. Or what passed for attention from a doped up teen.

She glanced up at him and grinned a grin that would have been gorgeous if her teeth weren't caked in Twinkie. "Got any goodies?"

He arched an eyebrow. "I left the junk food in my other pants."

The look she gave him clearly called him stupid. "Well, go get em, Tiger. I'm hungry."

"And let you skitter away? Not a chance, Mars. You, as much as it kills me to admit, are my star witness." Well, that's if her precocious little mind hadn't surrendered to the magic dragon.

Her hooded eyes continued to stare up at him. "If I promise to stay right here, will you get me food?"

Lamb didn't bother to hide his laughter. He bent down to help her to her feet, thinking her promises held as much weight as she did. In other words, not much at all. "Come on, Mars. You're with me."

"Ooh..." Her eyes looked everywhere, seemingly at the same time. "The world looks so pretty when it moves. All green and blue. The spacemen call it a marble. Do you think that's really what makes the planets move?"

"Marbles?" He stared at her, unsure if he heard correctly.

Her head bobbed up and down, reminding him of one of those dashboard dogs. "What if there's a big alien out there who plays marbles?"

Lamb sighed and shook his head. So much for her being a good witness. "It'd have to be one big ass alien."

Veronica's face crinkled. "You think that's what it is? An ass alien?"

How much had she inhaled? "Yeah. You nailed it right on the head."

"Is that why you're taking me in? Cos I nailed an alien? What if it wanted to be nailed? Didja think of that?"

He was forced to mostly carry her to his car since her legs didn't appear to be in the mood for walking. "No, I'm taking you in because you're a witness. Lucky, lucky me."

Again, her face crinkled as she frowned in confusion. "What did I witness?"

Oh, for the love of all things holy. He was gonna find the person who set fire to that house and he was gonna put them away for a very long time.

Lamb put her in the cruiser and hoped he didn't get high from the fumes her clothes emitted. A few steps and he was behind the wheel, with the engine running and car on the go. The sooner they both out of there, the better. "There was a fire at the Theta Beta house, remember?"

"Uh-huh."

He glanced out the corner of his eye and saw she'd popped the glove box open, one hand firmly inside. "There was a room full of marijuana plants that caught fire. Remember that?"

She nodded. "Uh-huh."

"Do you know why?"

Green eyes blinked. "Umm... There was a flash? No, wait. That was my camera. I think. Do you have any gum? Can I have it? I'm hungry."

Lamb ground his teeth so hard, he made a mental note to make an appointment with his dentist. "If I get you a pizza, will you cooperate?"

"Will it be a big pizza? With fries? Ooh and some chicken wings? With some chips?"

"Whatever you want." His wallet was gonna hate his guts. "Now, what happened?"

"Oh, I know what you're doing and it's not working, my little rack of Lamb. Until I get the goods, you get nadda."

"I get nadda, your daddy gets told you were cashing in your frequent flier miles and were well on your way to cloud nine before the fire." Lamb grinned to himself, proud of his little blackmail.

His blue eyes once again glanced at her and see her smart mouth had formed a perfect O. He had rendered her speechless. For all of two seconds.

"I'll tell the whole department you wear a tutu... Pizza!"

Her sudden shriek surprised him into jerking the wheel, which in turn jolted the car, and earned him angry beeping from the drivers behind. "Are you trying to get us killed?!"

Her glossy lower lip pouted. "I just didn't want you miss Mancini's."

Lamb gripped the wheel tight enough to turn his knuckles white and he took deep, slow breaths in an attempt to calm his heart before it went into arrest. He quickly regretted those breaths when both his lungs recoiled at the odious smell of skunk. He couldn't sit with her in an interrogation room.

On the plus side, she hadn't yet witnessed him losing his breakfast. Speaking of breakfast...

"Food." He stated, feeling his own stomach get happy at the mention of such a thing. "Food first, then you're going home to change your damn clothes. They stink."


End file.
